Teaser Tuesday

Today's Teaser Tuesday post, a meme that asks you to open the book you're currently reading to a random page and pick out a two-sentence teaser quote, is totally breaking the rules. I'm reading Carter Finally Gets It by Brent Crawford, just started last night, and the book is cracking me up. I was walking into work today and had to put the book down because I was giggling and looking like an idiot--it's that funny.

Here's the summary of the book from the flap material:

"...Here are five things you should know about [Will Carter]:

1. He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and bellybuttons.
2. He battles attention defecit disorder every minute of every day... unless he gets distracted.
3. He's a virgin, mostly because he's no good at talking to girls (see number 1).
4. He's about to start high school.
5. He's totally not ready.

"Join Carter for his freshman year, where he'll search for sex, love, and acceptance anywhere he can find it. In the process, he'll almost kill a trombone player, face off against his greatest nemesis, get caught up in a messy love triangle, suffer a lot of blood loss, narrowly escape death, run from the cops (not once, but twice), meet his match in the form of a curvy drill teamer, and surprise the hell out of everyone, including himself.

"WARNING: This book contains lewd humor, underage drinking, illicit fantasizing, and very bad decision-making."

Here are four very funny sentences:

"Apparently Scary Terry's parents were worried about their troubled son when he was in seventh grade and getting into too many fights, so they signed him up for karate classes to instill discipline in him, or some such crap. Another way to look at it is that you've taken a kid with anger issues and trained him to kill more efficiently. The only reason he's not a black belt is because he's always getting into fights with the owner of the karate school. I heard he wins sometimes, too," (p. 69).

Post your teaser over at the meme on MizB's blog.