Book Review: Beginner's Greek

Title: Beginner's Greek
Author: James Collins
Genre: Literary Fiction
Rating: B-

140-Character Summary: Boy meets girl on a plane, gets her number. Boy loses number. Boy's best friend marries girl. Best friend dies... and other coupling/drama.

First 140 Characters: "When Peter Russell boarded an airplane, he always wondered whether he would sit next to a beautiful young woman during the flight, and..."

140-Character Review: This book kept me hooked (pretty much). The writing was good (pretty much). Skimmed some descriptions (of scenery), but climax/end was good.

Hogwarts Challenge Notes: Muggle Studies
This is a classic study of human nature.

Book Review: Inkheart

Title: Inkheart (Inkheart Trilogy #1)
Author: Cornelia Funke
Genre: MG Fantasy
Rating: B-

140-Character Summary: Literary characters come to life when a "Silvertongue" reads the book out loud. (And real people get lost in the book.) Bad stuff follows.

First 140 Characters: "Rain fell that night, a fine, whispering rain. Many years later, Meggie had only to close her eyes and she could still hear it, like..."

140-Character Review: Took 100 pages to get interesting and 193 to get REALLY interesting. The "confused" rising action was frustrating. I'll read book 2 (and 3).

Hogwarts Challenge Notes:
Transfiguration (Literary Characters Become Living, Breathing People and Vice Versa)

Book Review: A Reliable Wife

Title: A Reliable Wife
Author: Robert Goolrick
Genre: Literary Fiction
Category: Historical Fiction
Rating: B-

Summary: Ralph Truitt has been single for 20 years and posted an add in a Chicago paper, requesting a reliable wife. Catherine Land responded to the add saying she was a simple, honest woman. Neither were being honest.

First Line: "It was bitter cold, the air electric with all that had not happened yet."

Review: It's hard to know what type of book this is... Historical romance? Mystery? Literary narrative fiction? Long-winded gas-baggery? All of the above? Actually, it does touch on each of these at one time or another in the course of the book.

There is definite romance between Ralph and Catherine. Their pasts are bizarre (to say the least), but the connections between Ralph and Catherine (even in their bizarre present together) are a redefinition of love and marriage. They speak to the redemptive powers of love, forgiveness, honesty, and sacrifice.

There is mystery. Both Ralph and Catherine have secrets. And Goolrick writes in a way that has you wanting to unravel the secrets and see the eventual unfurling of the plots. The premise of the story is simple, but the execution is highly complex. (And the mystery supports the romance in an entirely non-cheesy way, so kudos on that.)

The writing style of Goolrick is definitely prose-tastic. He writes beautifully. He writes dense and complex introspection. However, he does get long-winded and cross over into the land of pat-myself-on-the-back-for-how-long-I've-made-this-paragraph-and/or-sentence. I skimmed a bit (more and more as I read because eventually I found that the "beautiful" prose got in the way of the book). This book definitely called for a heavier editor's hand.

The other less-than-stellar thing about this book is the characterization. I loved both Ralph and Catherine (which seems to be impossible, based on the premise of the book, but isn't once you've read the book). However, Ralph is unreal. I firmly understand that certain genres require you to suspend reality, but that's rarely the case in literary fiction. The reality suspension in this book came in the form of, "This character is too good. You will never, ever in your long-legged life meet a guy who is this forgiving. Who will say, 'Thank you for trying to kill me.'"

Other than that, it's a good book. A beautiful book. Definitely not a throw-away book. It's not for everyone, but it's a solid read.

Recommendation: Fans of other flights-of-fancy above-all-odds love stories (like Time Traveler's Wife) will appreciate this book.

Book Review: The Lightning Thief

Title: The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Book One)
Author: Rick Riordan
Genre: Middle Grade, Sci Fi/Fantasy
Rating: B-

Summary: Percy Jackson has always had trouble in school--bad grades, bad experiences, being kicked out of one right after the other. When, the summer after sixth grade, he and his mom and his best friend (who Percy quickly discovers is half-goat) are attacked by a giant bull, Percy quickly figures out that his life isn't normal. He's an Olympian--son of Poseidon--and he has to go on a quest with some friends (including the goat/boy) to save Zeus' master bolt and thwart World War III.

First Line: "Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood."

Review: I read this book in preparation to see the movie (which comes out this President's Day). I also read the book at the vehement urging of my nephew. Background on my nephew: he's 15, a reluctant reader, was only required to read the first book in this series, and has now read them all (voraciously). So, I went in expecting to get something that he'd like... which wasn't necessarily something I'd like.

And, although this book was far from perfect, it was really pretty good.

Some good things include the humor of the book (Riordan's writing is, at times, down-right hilarious), the use of mythology (I love books that cleverly are teaching young readers... and it inspired me to brush back up on my Homer), and the complex relationships.

Many of the Olympians don't know who their Deity parent is, and even those who do are rarely treated to interaction with the god (because the gods aren't allowed to show favoritism). I liked that Percy had that level of ambiguity, some bitterness, some healthy respect, and a whole lot of confusion. I'm looking forward to how the god-parent/child relationship will further develop.

I'm also looking forward to the plot developing in future books. This one was pretty light on challenges--Percy, as a son of one of the "Big Three" gods, should have been challenged a little more. Here's to hoping that he has to prove his mettle a little more in future installments in the series.

Also, some of the god-god interactions were briefly touched on in this book, but those should be more fun to read about as the series progresses. I, personally, love reading about the gods--they bring the drama and, coupled with their crazy powers, this makes for many fun-filled stories.

Recommendation: It's hard to recommend anything else because I haven't seen a lot of MG authors using mythology really well. At work, I've been recommending this series to HP fans, and I've been encouraging teens (usually girls) who enjoy it to read Troy High if they want to stay on the Greek train.

Book Review: Ex-mas

Title: Ex-mas
Author: Kate Brian
Genre: YA Commercial Fiction
Rating: B-

Summary: Lila Beckwith is planning to have a smashing Christmas, including having her gorgeous, Stanford-attending boyfriend return home just in time to attend her event-of-the-year Christmas party. Of course, none of that goes right. Everything goes wrong. But, because this is fluffy YA fiction, everything turns out just right.

First Line: "Mr. Geary had to be kidding. It was literally moments before the last bell was supposed to ring on the last half-day of classes--three seconds to Christmas break and the holidays and freedom--and the earth science teacher was handing out homework with every indication that he expected people to be paying attention. Had he finally lost it?"

Review: I picked this book up as my 2009 Christmas read. (Last year I read [and reviewed] Let it Snow, a series of intertwined stories by Maureen Johnson, John Green, and Lauren Myracle.) This book fell pretty far short of the high standard set by the JGM trio.

If judging solely on the basis of YA contemporary fiction, this book wasn't bad. You had some good angst-y love/hate relationships going on (Lila's ex, Beau, seemed like a loner dreamboat), social drama, and some family dynamics that made for a fun, light (roughly three hours total) read.

If judging on the basis of a Christmas story, this book flopped. Maybe it was because this book was set in California (so we didn't get much Christmas-y weather) or because it all happened before Christmas, but the holiday wasn't central to the story. I think this book could have been set in any time of the year and still worked. (Frankly speaking, I think it was a gimmick used to market the novel around Christmas for increased sales).

If you're looking for a YA book that will get you in the Christmas spirit, don't bet on this one. But, as far as YA books go, Brian's not a bad little author.

Book Review: Freshman

Title Freshman
Author Michael Gerber
Genre YA Commercial Fiction
Rating B-

Summary Hart Fox is a high school senior with promise--promise to get into the prestigious Stutts University. He has his acceptance nearly in hand until a wealthy alumnus steals the coveted spot for his wayward son, and Hart's nemesis, Tripp Darling. Mr. Darling cuts a deal for Hart to get into Stutts also, if he'll take all of Tripp's classes for him. And when it comes to Stutts, carrying two students' academic loads is the least of Hart's worries.

First Line "Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office."

Review This book was a humorous and irreverent look at college life amongst the elite from an outsider's perspective. (The author went to an Ivy League school, so I'm not sure how much of this is his revisionist's history.)

The characters in this book were over-the-top, but they were meant to be. (Hello? One is a vampire. Obvious farce.) And it worked. The caricatures all played off each other--the motivated one, the jaded one, the "President," etc.--and created a campus full of life and color.

The pacing of the book kept you reading consistently with plenty of hijinks spattered throughout to ensure that you didn't have to read too much anti-elitism without a laugh or too along the way.

Hart was a good narrator, he was never whiny, even when any normal person would have been. (Hello? He was dragged behind a hearse in an attempt to kill him. Let the complaining begin.) But he wasn't Mary Sunshine either. He saw the crap that was going on around him, but he knew that griping never really did anybody any good. He had a good (fictitious) upbringing in that regard.

All those things said, an enjoyable book that includes laughs, some thoughts on society's classes, melancholy, and friendships. Nothing ground-breaking, but still a fun read.

Recommendation This book is a mix of Looking for Alaska and Carter Finally Gets It. So if you enjoyed either of those books (like me), then you'll probably like this one as well.

Book Review: Eighth Grade Bites

Title Eighth Grade Bites The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod Series (Book #1)
Author Heather Brewer
Genre YA Science Fiction
Rating B-

Summary Vladimir (Vlad) Tod is your average, everyday eighth grade vampire with two dead parents and a human best friend. He lives with his "Aunt" Nelly, slogs through school, and stresses about girls. All while trying to figure out why people around him are disappearing.

First Line "A tree branch slapped John Craig across the face, scraping his skin, but he kept on running and ignored the stabbing of pine needles on his bare feet."

Review I have a mixed review about this book. I liked pretty much all of the characters--I'm hoping they get fleshed out a little more in future books (which is a big advantage of series). I enjoyed the way that Brewer freshened up the vampire lore in the book--vampires can go out in sunlight if they wear sunblock and vampires can eat normal human food (in addition to drinking blood from various sources)--while also giving a nod to the traditional--they tend to be most productive at night, they can levitate, and their fangs retract and descend depending on their "thirst." Also Vlad is half human (his mom was a human), so he ages, which should be interesting to see.

I also liked the generalized plot of the book, watching Vlad navigate the treacherous world of Junior High (where bullies and girls that make his tongue twist are in abundance) mixed in with the surreal story line of Vlad figuring out who killed his parents and his teacher and why he might be in danger. I also thought quite a bit of the events of the story were pretty realistic for how Junior High guys might act and think.

On the subject of "believability" for eighth grade: I wasn't super crazy about some of the dialogue--it was just a little stilted and not as clever as Brewer's prose. It came off as more Middle Grade fiction, instead of YA. Sure, you might be thinking that Vlad is in 8th grade, perhaps that is Middle Grade, except that this is the first in the series--Vlad goes on to high school in future books. I'm not sure, perhaps Brewer was just trying to allow Vlad's dialogue to grow up as he does, but it felt pretty juvenile at times. We'll see how that goes as the series progresses.

(Tip: I've started reading the second book in this series, Ninth Grade Slays, and Brewer--bless her heart--isn't doing too much back-story information dump, so check out Eighth Grade Bites first. You'll be glad you did.)

Recommendation Fans of the vampire Sci-Fi sub-genre who want a male protagonist who neither sparkles nor is a gentleman (cough *Edward Cullen* cough).

Book Review: King Dork

Title King Dork
Author Frank Portman
Genre YA Literary Fiction
Rating B-

Summary Tom Henderson is a nothing at school--taking hits from students of all social classes (and some teachers and school administrators as well). However, when he finds his dead father's copy of The Cather in the Rye, and stumbles upon a cipher that links his dad's teenage library (which is available for perusal in their basement), he starts to see the world differently. (And he finds out that being in a band has the potential to get you some major action with the ladies.)

First Line "It started with a book."

Review I've been really lucky lately, reading and reviewing some funny books. (Check out my reviews of Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac and Lost It.) And this one didn't fail in that regard either. Nor was it perfect.

I heartily enjoyed Tom, and his family and friends were sufficiently complex to keep me interested. What did allow my interest to wane was the "mystery" surrounding his father's adolescence and death. In theory they were interesting, but the mystery was really complex and (eventually it comes out that) a great deal of the mystery you've been slogging through was random and not relevant to the plot or character growth of the protagonist. All of that silliness just made the book easy to put down at points.

But the wry humor made the times when I was reading pretty enjoyable. Check out this scene when Tom is introducing us to his stepfather:

"The current man in my mom's life, technically my stepfather, is a full-on hippie... There's just no getting around it. He'd say 'former hippie' probably, but that's too fine a distinction in my book.
Our official legal relationship is pretty recent, though he's been around for quite a while. I don't know why they decided to get married all of a sudden. They went away for a weekend to see Neil Young in Big Sur and somehow came back married. They still refer to each other as partners, though, rather than husband-wife. 'Have you met my partner, Carol?' Like they're lawyers who work in the same law firm, or cops who share a squad car. Or cowboys in the Wild West. 'Howdy, pardner.'
Unfortunately, Carol's [his mom's] dogie-wranglin' varmint-lickin' yella-bellied pardner's name happens to be Tom also. Just my luck.
He has tried to establish the system where I call him Big Tom and he calls me Little Dude. So that any observers (like, say, if someone planted a spy cam in the TV room) could tell us apart. See, you can't have two Toms in the same room. It would be too confusing for the viewer. Well, he can call me what he likes, but I hardly ever say anything at all, so it never comes up from my end. He's the one who calls himself Big Tom. Which is funny because he's very small for a full-grown man. The spy cam doesn't lie: Big Tom is little," (p. 25).

That gives you a taste of Tom (aka, Little Dude's) take on the world. He's pretty spot-on with his assessments. Like when he cuts through all the B.S. surrounding the "coming-of-age" masterpiece Catcher in the Rye and he talks about how the title of CitR comes from a mis-quoted poem by Holden Caulfield where he imagines he's standing at the edge of a field of rye and catches kids who are too close to the edge and puts them safely back in the field, but Tom Henderson thinks the field of rye is a metaphor for life and people trying to make us conform and says, "I'm rooting for the kids and hoping they get out while they can. And as for you, Holden, old son: if you happen to meet my body coming through the rye, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just stand aside and get out of my fucking way," (p. 247).

There is definitely spicy language and quite a bit of teenage "yearning" (and second-hand accounts of third base), but the humor and insights of this book are worth the read. [I'd recommend checking it out from the library or picking up a used copy to save your money, and preparing to read it with an open mind.]

Recommendation Teens who like to think, who like to question, and who like to consider where they fit into the big cogs of the world.

Book Review: Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac

Title Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac
Author Gabrielle Zevin
Genre YA Literary Fiction
Rating B-

Summary If Naomi hadn't fallen on the steps outside of her high school and smacker her head, her whole life would have been different. She wouldn't have to re-learn secrets about her family, figure out why she's friends with the people that she's friends with, why she's dating one guy and dying to kiss another guy.

First Line "If things had been different, I'd be called Nataliya or Natasha, and I'd have a Russian accent and chapped lips year round."

Review This book made me laugh out loud. Hard. To the point that I actually might have passed gas when I was laughing. It's that funny. The premise and the set-up of this book was quirky and charming, the protagonist was only moderately irritating--but then again, she was irritated at her life as she had to re-learn even the most simple of tasks--and some other characters were really engaging. Good things all around.

The only big hang-ups for me were in the character and storyline surrounding the mysterious "other guy," James. I kind of liked this character, but the author actually made him, in my opinion, a little too different, a little too much of a bad boy, and the final event before the splitting of their relationship required me to completely suspend disbelief. Suspending reality is pretty common in reading, some genres more than others, but commercial and literary YA fiction rarely require you to completely throw reality out the window. Without going into too much detail that will ruin the events of this (more often than not) really great book, it's just too far fetched and reduced the love-ability of this book in my opinion.

The other problems were that part-way through the book, the narrator develops a secret and I think she holds on to the secret too long--another hit to believability--and I saw the final resolution coming about 75 pages before the ending. (Still read on though, so that's a testimony to the author's humor.)

That being said, I'm going to hang onto this book, I'll probably re-read and recommend to tons of people--the theme of "finding yourself" wrapped up in this funny/charming novel is captivating and worth reading. Go into this book knowing that it's not entirely perfect, but it'll definitely get some laughs.

I'll leave you with a funny bit [The First Time She's "Reintroduced" to her Boyfriend] for your digestion. (For reference, this wasn't the passage that made me fart with laughter):

"'Here, I brought you something. I was at the camp Pro Shop, and I guess these reminded me of you.' He took a pair of white terry cloth tennis wristbands out of his pocket.
I wondered what about me screamed tennis sweatbands to him. Had he meant it as a joke? I could tell by his mouth--a think pink line of determined patience and anticipation--that he hadn't.
It certainly wasn't the most romantic gift ever, but you know, it was obvious the guy meant well, so I put the wristbands on.
'Looks nice,' he said. 'With your, um, pajamas.'" (p. 50).

Recommendation Fans of smart YA fiction (that can read through a few sticky points and obvious plot points coming from far away). Also, anybody who likes their literature with a laugh.

Book Review: Madapple

Title Madapple
Author Christina Meldrum
Genre YA Science Fiction
Category Dystopic and/or Paranormal Fiction
Rating B-

Summary Aslaug grew up in a tiny house in Maine with her mother who was strict and had unpredictable mood swings (more so as she became ill), but her mother also loved her and created a world with boundaries and horizons. After her mother's death (which may or may not have been due to poisoning by Aslaug), Aslaug goes to find the only people who might have known her father. She finds relatives--an aunt and two cousins--and gets enmeshed in this family that is so different from her upbringing that it makes her head spin, but also fills her voids. After a mysterious (and perhaps miraculous) birth, Aslaug finds herself on trial for another two murders. Where do science and faith intersect?

First Line "The women resemble schoolgirls with gangly limbs, ruddy cheeks, plaited flaxen hair; they walk holding hands. Yet the older of the two is pregnant; her unborn baby rides high and round. And the younger woman's left foot scratches a path through the leaves. She seems comfortable with her limp, accustomed to it."

Review As you can probably tell by the opening lines of this book, this isn't a grab-you-from-page-one thriller, it's much more plodding (like the younger girl's limp). But it's not all bad.

Here's what's good: This story spans about five years and is told in semi-chronological order; the exception being that every other chapter is a transcript of testimony from Aslaug's murder trial. That could come across as confusing, but actually the transcripts from the murder trial set up what you read in the next chronological chapter--they're a teaser, always leaving off with just a wee bit of a cliff-hanger, that keep you reading. This way of narrating was really interesting and kept me engaged more so than just the actual story.

I knew going in (from reading the front flap of the book) that Aslaug was going to be on trial for murder and I wanted to know who she murdered (if so), and why (if so), and how (if so). Meldrum, a lawyer herself by vocation, used the trial really well. If it hadn't been done that way, I probably would have put the book down.

Here's why...

The writing is boring. There is a whole lot of botany imagery that got to be way too much for me (not that I didn't understand it, but to the point that I couldn't give two craps about the metaphors of the plants). I skimmed whenever she started talking about plant descriptions. If your readers are skimming, that means your editor probably didn't have a tight enough hand. This, for me, suffered from the same thing as the book North of Beautiful did, too much motif and not enough pizazz.

Another thing was an unreliable narrator. Now, don't get me wrong, I sometimes enjoy an unreliable narrator--a kid's nice now and again, sometimes a crazy person can be entertaining--because they make you question why you're thinking what you're thinking. They make you work for it, which is something I love in a book, but Aslaug wasn't that kind of an unreliable narrator. She was an inattentive and superficial narrator. She'd grown up in a world where her mother taught her what to think and why, and then, after her mother dies, she just stops thinking about other people. When Aslaug goes to live with her aunt and two cousins (one of which she may or may not have developed a relationship with), there are some really interesting family dynamics going on--to the point that the aunt and one cousin gag and tie Aslaug up every week before church starts so she won't make a stink--but Aslaug never considers their motives. I was trying to consider them, but I wasn't given enough to work with. The female cousin does all the thinking (like Aslaug's mom did), but you get her thoughts filtered through Aslaug's mind. Not much going on there.

I understand that Meldrum wanted to keep Aslaug pretty passive--that was who she was as a character. A sheltered girl who grew up without electricity isn't likely to start "thinking outside the box" once her controlling mother dies. I just think that, if Meldrum had skipped around in POV to some of the more interesting characters, this book could have been far more powerful.

Book Review: Digging to America

Title Digging to America
Author Anne Tyler
Genre Literary Fiction
Rating B-

Summary Two families, one American and one Iranian, adopt daughters from Korea and the girls arrive on the same day, forever intertwining the two families' lives (thanks in part to the party-throwing matriarch of the American family). Two of the grandparents who are widowed dance around a "coupling," further twining together the families.

First Line "At eight o'clock in the evening, the Baltimore airport was nearly deserted."

Review The primary emphasis of this book was intended to be addressing questions of what makes an American. Were Maryam, the paternal grandmother, who moved to the United States 35 years before the story starts; her son, Sami, who was born and raised in the United States (and spoke English with no trace of an Iranian accent, and never spoke Farsi); or her daughter-in-law, Ziba, who moved to the United States with her family when she was a teenager American? Are the adopted daughters, two Korean and one Chinese (adopted by the "American" couple), American? I don't know... nor does Tyler.

I don't mean to throw stones, but the only part of this book that bothered me was that the theoretical point of the story, to delve into what makes an "American" isn't really ever handled all that well and/or definitively addressed. This is likely because defining an American is nearly impossible. Also, I'm sure Tyler did a fair amount of research on immigration, but I find it hard to believe that this could be something that she has too much personal knowledge of--maybe I'm wrong, but her bio doesn't seem to hint at that.

That's why I had to mark the book down so much--because Tyler failed to accomplish what she said she was trying to accomplish with this book. If Tyler had said this was simply a book about the dynamics of extended and/or blended families, she would have been phenomenal, perfect, an A+. But she didn't.

Moving beyond plot and themes, let's review the characters. Tyler did her stereotypical multiple narrator delivery--Maryam, Sami, Ziba, Bitsy (the American hostess with the most-est), and Frank (the maternal grandfather of the American family who "couples" with Maryam) all get a chance to sit in the narrator's seat. Maryam gets the most attention, as she's the primary protagonist of this story, but I have to admit that my favorite narrators were Frank (he had a wry wit and pragmatic view of the world) and Jin-Ho (the Korean daughter of the American family has such a funny and unexpected view of her family and the other adopted daughter that her one chapter as narrator was a nice twist).

The short story of this review is that I'd recommend this book to people who like to read stories about family dynamics. It's not a definitive guide to international adoption and/or international affairs, but brings up some interesting questions that beg for further reading.

Book Review: Girls of Riyadh

Title Girls of Riyadh
Author Rajaa Alsanea
Genre Commercial Fiction
Rating B-

Summary Imagine Sex & the City in Riyadh--four friends endure the ups and downs of the single scene in the world of arranged marriages with the reality of irrational love.

First Line "Ladies and Gentlemen: You are invited to join me in one of the most explosive scandals and noisiest, wildest all-night parties around."

Review This book was my book club's May reading selection and, had I not been under social compulsion to read this, it's not something I ever would have selected because I don't read very much chick lit (just by a select number of authors I like). If, by some chance, I had picked it up, I'm not sure I would have completed it, but I'm glad I did.

This peek into Saudi culture through an insider's look at how the business of marriage is changing, was incredibly interesting. I also came to like the characters--some took longer than others, but eventually I came around to all of the four friends. The biggest thing I learned through the experience of reading this book is that I should probably do more international reading.

The two things that brought this down for me were: 1) I think the translation probably could have been better, there were times that the English was stilted or awkward (not really the author's fault); and 2) The reason it took me longer to like some characters was because they kept making the same mistakes until the end--the growth was unnecessarily protracted and caused the plot to lag.

Book Review: City of Glass

Title City of Glass (Mortal Instruments Series, Book #3)
Author Cassandra Clare
Genre YA Science Fiction/Paranormal
Rating B-

Summary Finishing up the Mortal Instruments Series (you have to read Books #1 and #2 to get this one), City of Glass tells of how Clary and Jace (and the rest of the Shadowhunters and Downwolders) figure out what in the world is up with the megalomaniac Valentine Morganstern. They also do some serious (and sometimes seriously disturbing) coupling.

First Line "The cold snap of the previous week was over; the sun was shining brightly as Clary hurried across Luke's dusty front yard, the hood of her jacket up to keep her hair from blowing across her face."

Review That was a gripping first line, right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either. I didn't think the book got gripping until about page 149 (of 541). Sure, there was a wee bit of witty banter (especially from the lovely Jace and Simon) prior to that point, but the plot was having a really hard time ramping up for me. That was problem #1.

Also, did you notice that I said there were five hundred and forty-one frigging pages in this book? Yeah, I like a good long love-fest with my favorite characters as much as the next chickie, but this one was unnecessarily long. My case in point:

1. Clary and Jace find out some interesting news about Clary's childhood in a kind of cool way through some visions (roughly four pages);
2. Clary's mom explains about her childhood, some of which is re-iteration of what we saw in the visions, some of which is clarification/revelation (roughly twenty-one pages); and then in yet another scene
3. Jace finally finds out the clarification/revelation while off fighting a battle (roughly eight pages).

The same information was presented three times--and I'd figured it out even before the first time. It got a little tedious. I did some skimming.

The only part I didn't skim was when the Angel Raziel was summoned by Valentine. That was the best scene of the entire series. A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Loved it. I'd re-read that scene over and over and over again. Good stuff. Favorite passage (Spoiler Alert):

"The Angel opened his mouth and spat. Or at least that was how it seemed to Clary--that the Angel spat, and that what came from his mouth was a shooting spark of white fire, like a burning arrow. The arrow flew straight and true across the water and buried itself in Valentine's chest. Or maybe 'buried' wasn't the word--it tore through him, like a rock through thin paper, leaving a smoking hole the size of a fist. For a moment, Clary, staring up, could look through her father's chest and see the lake and the fiery glow of the Angel beyond... [The Angel says,] That was the justice of heaven. I trust that you are not dismayed."

I love dispensing "The justice of heaven." Great stuff!

The combination of the undeniably witty banter, the fantastic coupling, and the scene where Raziel was summoned (he is one bad Angel), was enough to earn this book a B- (even in spite of the painfully slow pacing and plot development).

Book Review: Domestic Affairs

Title: Domestic Affairs
Author: Eileen Goudge
Genre: Commercial Fiction
Rating: B-

Summary (from GoodReads.com): "...A moving story in which an unlikely twist of fate has the potential to change the lives of three women in ways they never could have imagined. 'Rosie and Abigail are like family,' Ina Merriweather used to say. That is, until the day Ina abruptly cast out her housekeeper, Rosie, and her fifteen-year-old daughter Abigail. Abigail felt deeply betrayed, especially by Ina's daughter Lila, who was her closest friend. Only Lila's twin brother Vaughn, with whom Abigail had been exploring the joys and heartaches of first love, showed any compassion.

"Now, twenty-five years later, an old score is about to be settled...and an old love rekindled. Abigail is now a self-made woman who has built an empire out of the homemaking skills she learned from her mother. When Lila, who married well and for decades lived the glittering life of a Park Avenue socialite, suffers a tragic reversal of fortune, an opportunity to right an old wrong lands squarely in Abigail's lap. Lila seeks the help of her childhood friend, but learns that the only opening available at the moment is as her housekeeper and Lila has no choice but to accept.

"At the same time, Abigail is coping with the fallout from a fire in her Mexico factory, which took the life of an innocent girl, whose mother, Concepción Morales, now seeks the rich señora she holds responsible for her daughter's death. In a collision of fate, Abigail, Lila, and Concepción are thrown together and must unite to save one another...and themselves."

Review: If that summary above seemed long and convulted, it kind of is because it summarizes the entire plot of the book and leaves essentially no questions unanswered before you've even started reading. (Which, technically, probably isn't the author's fault... blame the copy writer.)

Anyway, I read this book as my book club's March selection and I was thoroughly disappointed. We typically tend to read literary fiction (heavy on the character development, a little lighter on the stereotypical conventions of plot), but this one was commercial fiction to a tee. You had fires, you had affairs, you had suicides (and attempts). But you also had formulaic fiction and you knew exactly where it would end up.

The only thing that kept me reading (other than my obligation to the book club) were a couple of the guys. I wanted to see what happened with Vaughn, Kent, Jesus, and Neal... not Karim, he was a throw-away character in my book, provided only to round out the pairings. Also, the mother-child realationships were "complex," but in a sterotypical way (in my opinion). There really wasn't any meet to dive into with this book.

Also, one thing we can blame on the writer (in addition to the plot and character issues mentioned above): the prose wasn't that interesting, she has a few pet words that she brought into the game too often in my opinion.

We pick books from a guide provided by the Book Club Selections organization, and I now feel compelled to go on their website and see what in God's name made them think this would be a great book to fuel discussion.

Book Review: I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

Title: I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You
Author: Ally Carter
Genre: YA, Commercial Fiction
Rating: B-

Summary (from GoodReads.com): "The Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women is a fairly typical all-girls school that is, if every school taught advanced martial arts in PE, the latest in chemical warfare in science; and students received extra credit for breaking CIA codes computer class. So in truth, Gallagher Academy might claim to be a school for geniuses but its really a school for spies. Cammie Morgan is a second generation Gallagher Girl, and by her sophomore year shes already fluent in fourteen languages and capable of killing a man in seven different ways. But the one thing the Gallagher Academy hasn't prepared her for is what to do when she falls for an ordinary boy who thinks shes an ordinary girl. Sure, she can tap his phone, hack into his computer, and track him through a mall without his ever being the wiser, but can she have a regular relationship with a regular boy who can never know the truth about her? Cammie may be an elite spy in training, but in her sophomore year, shes beginning her most dangerous mission--shes falling in love."

Review: This book was so-so throughout (except for one fateful sentence at the very end). I picked up this book because I've been interested in Ally Carter's agent, and wanted to see what kinds of books she represented. So, I read (and read and read), I think I read this whole thing in about a day and a half (sporadically throughout), it was really quick, but nothing really stood out.

In the beginning the characters kind of all ran together for me (which I guess can tend to happen when you're trying to populate an entire school full of girls), but they got fleshed out well enough in the end. Truth be told, I probably kept reading because the guy/boyfriend was kind of interesting... I wanted to see what would happen with him (not so much him/Cammie, just him). The drawback about the guy/boyfriend is that he was clearly an woman's idealized version of what she'd want a boyfriend to be like. I kept wanting him to be a little bit more real, have some flaw, something, but he never really comes through like that.

As I said earlier, the book was essentially a throw-away for me (actually, the technical term should be a "sell it at the 1/2-price book store because I'll never read it again"), but there was one parting sentence from the guy/boyfriend that I'll censor slightly (to avoid spoiling it), but he says, "Tell your mom I said thanks for the [spoiler alert]," and with that one sentence I knew I had to go out and get a copy of the second book in the series, Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy. I haven't rushed out and bought it (not sure when I'll get around to that... maybe next year), but that one sentence saved the whole book. Otherwise, this would probably have only been about a C-.

So, I'd recommend this book to anybody who likes YA literature and a little mystery-type thing thrown in. The rights have been optioned by Walt Disney for film, and I'd probably see it... it seems like a story that actually would work better on film than it did in book format. We'll see.

Book Review: Spanking Shakespeare

Title: Spanking Shakespeare
Author: Jake Wizner
Genre: YA Literary Fiction (Humor)
Rating: B-

Summary (from BN.com): Shakespeare Shapiro has always hated his name. His parents bestowed it on him as some kind of sick joke when he was born, and his life has gone downhill from there, one embarrassing incident after another. Entering his senior year of high school, Shakespeare has never had a girlfriend, his younger brother is cooler than he is, and his best friend's favorite topic of conversation is his bowel movements. But Shakespeare will have the last laugh. He is chronicling every mortifying detail in his memoir, the writing project each senior at Shakespeare's high school must complete. And he is doing it brilliantly. And, just maybe, a prize-winning memoir will bring him respect, admiration, and a girlfriend . . . or at least a prom date.

Review: I picked this book up because I have a real thing for (in terms of loving to) reading books with male protagonists who are written by guys. I bought this book on Saturday afternoon and read it cover to cover in about two hours.

The characters are all funny, and I found myself laughing out loud at a couple of points (especially when Shakespeare gets stoned, not something that I generally love to read about, but he's so funny and Shakespeare decides against ever doing it again because of what happens during his high).

My only real drawback in terms of Wizner's literary debut was the lack of contractions. I know it seems like a little thing, a weird thing, but Americans speak with contractions and to read stilted prose that doesn't utilize any contractions is weird. [Don't believe me? I'll rewrite that previous sentence sans contractions and you can see for yourself. Americans speak with contractions and to read stilted prose that does not utilize any contractions is weird. See, only one contraction, changing "does not" to "doesn't" makes it more readable.]

You might say that's Wizner's editor's problem, but he should have caught that in pre-review. As he was reading aloud (because that's a smart way to do your own self-editing), he should have realized the text wasn't flowing the way a teenager would talk. (And this is kind of a shame because he does a really good job with language choice... making it teenager-esque without sounding like an adult trying to sound like a teenager.)

The book rated a B- because of the stiff language (as referenced above) and the plot was a little bit too textbook. I knew exactly what was going to happen by page 75. (Granted, the fact that I kept reading it even though I knew where it was going should be a feather in Wizner's cap.)

Book Review: Practical Magic

Title: Practical Magic
Author: Alice Hoffman
Genre: Literary Fiction
Rating: B-

Summary (from Penguin Group.com): For more than two hundred years, the Owens women had been blamed for everything that went wrong in their Massachusetts town. And Gillian and Sally endured that fate as well; as children, the sisters were outsiders. Their elderly aunts almost seemed to encourage the whispers of witchery, but all Gillian and Sally wanted was to escape. One would do so by marrying, the other by running away. But the bonds they shared brought them back-almost as if by magic...

Review: I picked this book for the Modern Classics Challenge because I loved The Probable Future by Alice Hoffman and thought I'd try another one of her books. The premise of this story was interesting, as are all of Alice Hoffman's; she loves to write about family and community and integrates elements of magic and love into all of her stories. She weaves both of these into all types of relationships--inter-generational, male/female, and especially between siblings.

This particular book fell a little flat for me, compared to other works by Alice Hoffman that I've loved. I enjoyed the story, but I actually loved the guys in the story (the guys who loved the Owens women) more than the women themselves. I think the primary reason is that Hoffman did something unique in the way she told this story--dialogue was really scant and, rather than us figuring out the innerworkings of the characters and coming up with our own conclusions based on what they said and did, Hoffman came right out and told us. This book was almost entirely expository, told in a form of lyrical prose.

Additionally, Hoffman covers nearly thirty years of time in the story (all in only 244 pages), so it's covered at a break-neck speed, which is the likelist reason why Hoffman discarded dialogue and just told you what you needed to know. Another "weird" thing Hoffman did in this book is that it's entirely told in the present tense (all throughout the 30 year time span) rather than having a distinct point of view or being told in past tense (which is much more common); the beauty of the past tense is that you inherently feel that the characters have already experienced the plot and have learned their lessons, that's why you want to hear from them so you can learn too.

Here's an example:

"When evening falls, Kylie still doesn't know what to do. Gillian is at Ben's, but no one answers the phone when Kylie calls to ask Gillian if she thinks it's foolish for her to go to Gideon's. Why does she even want to? What does she care?"

The whole book reads like this "She does X. She is Y." It just makes for a very weird read and makes the characters more distant. I think that's also why I loved the guys more because the author didn't fully understand them and/or write them in a way that it appears she did not fully understood them, so I came to know them myself and had invested in getting to know them personally (rather than being told that I should love them).

That being said, it's a quick and easy read. If you're looking for something that is light and extols the virtues of strong family relationships and the beauty of head-over-heels love, than this book (which earned a B- from me) is a good book for you.