Book Review: An Off Year

Title: An Off Year
Author: Claire Zulkey
Genre: YA Literary Fiction
Rating: D

140-Character Summary: Cecily gets to college and promptly turns around. Spends a year at home, relating to friends and family, and trying to "figure things out".

First 140 Characters: "I raised the key and hesitated. Something wasn't right. I turned around. 'You know, actually, I think I'm just going to go back home..."

140-Character Review: Good writing (it's what kept me reading, I'm a sucker for wit). An anti-climactic climax and resolution. Nothing of note about protagonist.

Hogwarts Challenge Notes: Muggle Studies
This is a story of your sterotypical privileged high school graduate living a privileged "off year".

Book Review: Zombie Blondes

Title: Zombie Blondes
Author: Brian James
Genre: YA Science Fiction
Rating: D-

140-Character Summary: Hannah moves to a new town; her dad is sketchy; something "weird" is up with everyone in town, except one loner dude with a zombie theory.

First 140 Characters: "There aren't any rules to running away from your problems. No checklist of things to cross off. No instructions. Eeny, meeny, pick a..."

140-Character Review: Knew what would happen before starting (see the title of the book). Narrator didn't figure it out until p. 200; only 20 pgs. of lame "climax".

Hogwarts Challenge Notes:
Defense Against the Dark Arts (Self Defense)

Book Review: Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl

Title: Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl
Author: Susan McCorkindale
Genre: Narrative Nonfiction
Category: Memoir
Rating: D-

Summary: Susan McCorkindale gave up her high-paying job as a marketing director at Family Circle and moved from suburban New Jersey with her husband and two sons to a 500-acre farm in rural Virginia. And she doesn't really like it.

First Line: "If anyone had ever told me I'd leave my big-city job and suburban home for rural country living, I would have declared them a few bristles short of a brush," (Author's Note, p. xi).

Review: I'm having a hard time writing this negative review because in the last chapter of this book, McCorkindale writes about how she wants to be the next Nora Ephron (not the highest of literary heroes, but to each his own) and what rejection is like. I wish she hadn't written that--and made herself "human"--because I wanted to rip this book to shreds. Instead, I'll just point out, semi-analytically, why I didn't like this book.

I didn't appreciate this memoir because it failed to achieve any discernible mission. There was no direction to the book. In her defense (and in lambaste of her editor), McCorkindale started this venture as emails to her friends back in New Jersey and then branched into a blog which was the genesis for this book. And it read like that. A collection of stories, humorous at times, but without a plot arc. For example, she had one chapter, "Down the Rabbit Hole," that was about her depression (and treatment). It was in no way related to the chapter preceding, "Meet the LOB Squad" (about her friends who share her distinct lack of good breeding), or following, "Jersey Girl" (about her love for trips back to Jersey to reclaim big hair and kitschy gifts). It's just random.

The book starts out, as stated above in the first line that was quoted, with Susan talking about how she was moving to Virginia reluctantly. And you assume, or at least I did, that she'd eventually come to embrace her farming life. And, in her defense (and in lambaste of her editor), there is a tiny shred of that--roughly five pages worth of material out of 300+--but it's definitely not enough to substantiate the premise of this book. Additionally, there wasn't even many stories about how her New Jersey upbringing got her into farming faux pas; mostly it was her complaining about the cows (aka, "the girls"), the chickens, her husband, her sons, and the farm smells (and dirt/mud). There are times when some of her writing is funny, but I don't need to read more than one passage dedicated to her search for the perfect push-up and/or her complaining about her cleavage curse.

Her writing style relied upon two things:

1. Alliteration and/or "Catchy" Turns of Phrase: "Together we replaced the perch, and I went back to the piano, but only after carefully... digging out the livestock detritus packed between my piggies," (pp. 247-8). That was her way of saying, "After I cleaned cow manure out from between my toes." Either way, it's not that interesting of a side note. My advice: Make the story interesting and then the writing. One is not a substitute for the other. Just tell us interesting stuff, don't try to be clever. Unless, of course, you are clever, but 99% of the time writers aren't nearly as clever as they think they are. I know I'm not.

2. Lists: "True, I'm free of the sight and smell of the pigs that whizzed wherever they pleased during my morning and evening commutes, but they've been replaced by bulls. And cows. And deer. And dogs. And groundhogs. And foxes. And horses. And hens," (p. 212). Yeah, we get it--lots of animals pee on farms. Dial it back.

Recommendation: Skip this book. Instead, if you want your rural fix, read a piece of good literature that is set on a farm (perhaps A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley).

Book Review: Lost in the Forest

Title: Lost in the Forest
Author: Sue Miller
Genre: Literary Fiction
Category: Women's Fiction
Rating: D-

Summary: Eva is divorced from Mark with two teenaged daughters, Emily and Daisy; she's remarried to John with a toddler, Theo. John is tragically killed and the members of the family each cope in their own way. Eva and Mark start to move back toward each other, Emily grows up, Theo fantasizes, and Daisy embarks on a path of destructive behavior.

First Line: "Emily telephoned, his older daughter, 'Can you come get us?' she said. 'It's an emergency.'"

Review: This is the second of Miller's books that I've read, and I'm finding that she has some consistent patterns. Some are good patterns, things that keep you reading; some are bad patterns, things that make you want to throw the book at the wall (or at least roll your eyes hard enough to harm your vision).

The Good Pattern: She loves the theme of messy marriages. And she's right, it's not easy. I like reading about the way she writes marriages. The way she talks about the boring aspects of being married, etc., and the way that the person you've been married to for years (or decades) can still surprise you.

The Bad Pattern: She loves the theme of sexual exploration, but she's a prude about it. For example, instead of using the word "vagina," or any of its myriad slang synonyms, she calls it "sex." Like, in this book, she talks about one character's "sex" clicking when she opens her legs. Really? You called it her "sex"? That's just stupid. I'm not opposed to the idea of using sexuality as a motif or backdrop used to tell the story of discovery, but don't be so weird about it. Her writing comes off as if she wants to talk about sex, but she's embarrased. Either do it well, or don't do it all (and I'm speaking of writing here, if you know what I mean).

I think I'm done with Sue Miller. I've got her figured out. I don't disagree that marriage is messy. I don't disagree that sexuality is a complex part of our persona. I just don't, personally, need to read her narratives of it because it can be done better.

I didn't want to finish this book. It was going nowhere fast, but she did have a good thing going in that the perspective of Daisy is told from a bit of flash-back, and you want to know how she comes out in the end. For that, she kept me reading (begrudginly). I finished, but just barely. Hence, her D- grade.

Recommendation: I recommend that you skip this book and read other books in the category of women's fiction.